Tonight I was reflecting on how times of crisis or tragedy seem to bring people to share their true feelings. Words are said that might possibly never have been said before. People say “I love you” more easily than ever. At the realization that life is short, and every moment is sacred, people come out of their shells and suddenly become vulnerable. It’s as if there is no longer anything to risk. But why not live every day like this? Unafraid of feeling insecure at the possibility that our affections might not be returned. Or that we would sound silly as we verbalize how much a loved one means to us.
Tonight is New Year’s Eve, and as my in-laws and I were sitting by the fire reflecting on the final days of my mother in law’s life, I realized something beautiful about this family. They have no worries about anything being left unsaid to their mother or wife. There was a point when one of the nurses told us it would be a good time to get anything out in the open that we might have neglected over the years, like apologizing for taking her lipstick that one time when she told you not to. Something that was true for each family member is that nothing had gone unsaid. They live really open lives with each other, and take the opportunity to say “I love you” or whatever else is on their mind. In the moments alone that each child had taken with their mom in the hospital room the day she passed, no one had any regrets. They just got to enjoy being with her and taking in those final hours being by her side. This is a truly admirable way to live.
A passage of scripture that I find especially wise and helpful when I contemplate certain decisions in life is Ephesians 5: 15. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Relationally, I want to make the best use of my time, because I don't know how long I have, and even if I had 100 more years on this earth, why wouldn't I want each day to be rich and full of depth-having the ones I love not left wondering how I feel about them?As 2011 comes to an end and 2012 awaits-untainted and full of mystery and adventure, I am thankful for being a part of a family that has shown me how to love with abandon, cherish every moment, and speak my heart to those I love. I love you Newtons! May 2012 be a wonderful year for us and those we love.
