I came across this blog post that never made it online while on our trip:
Three weeks ago I read Isaiah 55:8-9 on one of the flights
to Ghana. It was a desperate attempt to intake some scripture in the midst of
being tired, fighting a cold, and leading 29 students to another
continent. I have read the verses
before, and am in full agreement that God is much greater
that I am.
“For my thoughts are
not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
I caught a glimpse of this truth playing out the first 48 hours
in country. Constant adjustments needed
to be made, I had next to nothing for a voice, and I was sweating.
Constantly. (That's just not something a girl likes to do). Clearly I could not maintain
a positive, let alone Christ-like mindset left to my own devices. I could not understand why things were
playing out the way they were, and why our plans were not sufficient despite
all the time we spent working them out.
But I could trust that God knew.
In the coming weeks I would see God use circumstances to reveal flaws in
my character, challenge the depth of my faith in Him, and on whom I truly
depend to bear fruit for His kingdom. There
were a few days where I really did not want to be in Ghana, leading a team, or
working as a missionary. Despite those
feelings and the trials that made those days seem unbearable, I am so glad Ben
and I came to Ghana. When I think of what we would have missed had we done
something else, I know we would have missed out on some sweet gifts from Him. I am seeing God’s purpose(s) for us being
here unfold as the days go on, and it is really humbling and awesome.
Today I am reminded of those verses in Isaiah yet
again. As I sat in my room in our hostel
this afternoon, planning for Wednesday’s Bible study, I had a sweet encounter
with God. I asked the Lord for something specific, and my heart was humbled at
the thought of Him listening, and the knowledge that He wants this prayer to be
answered as much as I do. (I know because it’s true to His Word.) The Holy Spirit gave me words to pray, and my
heart genuinely thanked God for all He has done here, as I reflected on the
past few weeks and the experiences we have had.
I asked Him boldly to not let us come back home the same as when we
left. I could not have planned to connect
with God intimately during an afternoon of planning, but am grateful that the
truths in Isaiah exist and are causing me to grow and depend more on Jesus, and
less on myself. I am so glad and praise God that He knows
what I need, when I need it.
I still don't know why certain things played out the way they did, but having been home for two weeks now and hearing from students all that they learned during our trip, I have a bit more insight into God's work through every detail.